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Dangerous Dot

by Hollie May
(Nottinghamshire )

My dangerous Dotty

My dangerous Dotty

I have had the pleasure of looking after Dot for just a few months (which honestly doesn’t feel like that). She was a new member of my little flock and she was quite a character.

Character being a polite word for the meanest chicken I’ve ever had in my time of raising hens! In fact I’m so sure she hated me, but in a playful way. You couldn’t get your phone out in front of her, she would attack it and maybe nip your hand in the process! She was a no paps girl!

But she made me laugh, literally even with the most hostile reception to me putting out her feed or filling their water bale, she gave me as much attention as I did her.

A dog got into my garden and killed her a few days ago. I’ve never lost a pet, I’ve got many. I’ve only been living alone and decided to start my little home rescue five years ago and I never had pets as a child because my family aren't really animal lovers.

So I’ve been happily living as a single girl in my 20s with all my weird and wonderful babies. Dot is my first loss and I can’t seem to feel any better about it and I didn’t expect to feel this bad.

No one thankfully has made the ignorant remark “it was just a chicken”. However I did get her cremated at my local vet's and it was so impersonal and quick. I’m so sad, I feel like I should have done it myself. I can’t shake the image of how I found her or putting her in the box she was cremated in and cleaning her up.

I just can’t get it out my head, it’s late at night when it overwhelms me and I feel so silly! But I really am heart broken, I feel responsible, I’m fearful of losing another hen - ever - which will happen one day!

It’s like my "pets live forever" bubble has been burst and I don’t think I’ll even not be sad about this.

I feel both better and sillier while writing this, but I’m thankful this page exists.

Love to everyone going through something similar or very much the same xxxxxx

Comments for Dangerous Dot

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So very sorry
by: Kim

Your story about Dot was so touching. I was so sad for you.

Please know there are many of us who totally get it. She was just as important as any other pet and her loss felt like any other. She sounded like quite a character.

We lost a hen last year who was rather mean initially, but when we changed how we treated her, it turned her whole personality.

Sometimes I think it can be a defense mechanism maybe? Just my opinion.

Please accept my condolences for the loss of your Dot. Sending hugs 🤗

Thank you xxxx
by: Hollie May

Hi everyone,

Thank you so, so, so much for your comments I’ve just sat and had a nice cry to them! I am so happy I found this website, it’s so nice to be able to share your feelings with like minded people.

I hope I can comfort someone on here the same way I was comforted. Lots of love xxxxxx

I Feel For You
by: Chicken Lover

If I can offer any comfort...

We personify our pets. I'm am not aware of how you found her but we tend to rationalize, imagine, play detective and yes even feel partly responsible for their demise with a heavy heart..

Often we don't realize how they impact our lives until they have been taken from us. She brought joy to your life, as difficult as she may have been, she certainly was special. She connected with you in her chicken way.

They say the it's more difficult on the ones left behind to mourn than the ones who actually pass. I've lost as well, you grow wiser as a head of flock.

Continue to love your chickens and forgive yourself. She knew you, she was loved.

Rip Sweet Dot
by: Sam

Oh Hollie May it's natural to feel the loss of Dot. She was such a force to be reckoned with, and what a character she was!

I've always felt the loss of each and everyone of my chickens and rooster and mourned each one for days after. They lay buried around the garden they once freely roamed in but l think l mourned my rooster, my boy more.

In fact a year on and it's still difficult to look at his photos as I cannot believe he is no more. I had him five years and really did believe he would live another five at the least. His death was so sudden. I found him dead sitting on his favourite perch which was a bamboo ladder.

You mourn your beautiful Dot for as long as it needs but it will get better, I promise.....

I'm so sorry for your loss, Hollie May.
by: Cath

I have to admit, Hollie May, when I looked at the title of your tribute, "Dangerous Dot", it made me smile. So Dotty is still having a good effect even now. That's important for you to remember.

You're obviously such a kind person, opening your home and your heart to animals in need of help. And Dot was one of them.

She had a good life while she was with you. That's very important to remember, too. You gave her a safe place, when many others don't have that luxury. So she was as lucky to have you as you are to have had her.

Even after she died, you did everything you could for her. Not many people would have their hen cremated. No matter how impersonal you felt it was, it was a kind thing to do and she was fortunate to have you still caring for her.

Unless it's happened to you, it's hard for people to understand how much the death of a chicken can affect you. Now is the time when you need to be kind to yourself. Remember how safe Dot was, and how well cared for. Give yourself credit for that.

And give yourself time. It does heal, but it can take a long time. Don't rush it, don't feel guilty. You're a kind person - time to be kind to yourself.

Sending thoughts and love to you in your loss.

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