Want you back

by Suja
(India)

We brought 3 chicks in March 2020 - pink, yellow and white. They might be just less than a week old. Not sure of their gender but I guess they are male, because only male chicks are sold in market.

I don't have a lawn or garden so I kept them in my house. For one month they were active and roaming and chirping. I was eager to return from the office as if they were waiting for me. I never tired of watching them.

They were so cute, but I never tried to hold them as I'm afraid of handling them. Initially I used to change the water once in 2 days, scatter the food on paper in their room, and I used to leave it for 2 days as they were pecking at the food.

Soon they were looking dull and their feathers are dusted. I wanted to bathe them but as I said I'm afraid of handling them, I didn't. After one month the yellow chick started limping. Gradually it became dull, its neck was slightly bent to one side. It had difficulty in standing and was interested in sitting.

As I have to attend duty after lockdown after 2 months I put them in my sister's house and I used to visit them. After one week she called me and said that yellow chick was no more and they buried it.

I fought with her for burying it without informing me. I was in the office then. I was so sorry as I didn't have the last touch of my cute innocent chick.

Next day I asked them to take me to that place so that I can bring it from there and keep it in my garden vase. We went there and dug the place and found her with ants surrounding her.

I felt so bad looking her in such a situation. I touched her in the pit itself and put the soil back.

But now I have so many things going in my mind with regret and guilt. I doubt whether it was unconscious or dead and they buried it within an hour. If I was present at the moment, I would have made sure.

It is disturbing my mind very much that what if it was buried alive and how much it would have suffered in that situation.

Second thing, my foolish act of digging again to see her. Whether she gets peace for this mean act of mine?

Third, what went wrong with her? Was she injured or diseased or not taken proper care by me initially?

I miss my sweet little thing so much that I'm not willing to go to office also. And finally in just 2 and half months it left us.

I want my bird to rest in peace and to be forgiven by her for my foolish act of digging again.

Sorry dear. I want you back. I really miss you like anything.

Comments for Want you back

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Thank you
by: Suja

Thank you.. Cath.. I was really waiting for your reply. Your website indeed helped me to vent out my feelings. It was a great idea to find a place where we can share about our chicks. I continue to read the other stories. I read about Charlie and every detail written by you clearly states that how much you miss him. and your reply to the people who share their pet stories is a great tribute to your love for these often unnoticed innocent birds.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
by: Cath

I am so sad for you, Suja. It's very hard when we lose chicks or chickens like this, especially when we have become so attached to them.

I do not think it was anything you did. Chickens bought from markets often do have diseases that are not immediately obvious, and it sounds to me like this was the case here.

Pink chicks don't exist unless they're dyed. So my guess is that these chicks had been dyed to make them look cute, and possibly to hide illness. Once the dye began to wear off, their fluff became dull and, as you say, "dusted". That is down to the person who sold this chick, not you.

The yellow chick having his or her neck bent to one side and having difficulty standing suggests to me s/he may have had wry neck. Wry neck means there was a lack of vitamin E, and it often happens because the mother bird was not well fed.

So I suspect this chick's problems began long before you took her home from market.

As for your sister burying the chick, I am sure she was doing what she thought was best for the chick and also to save you the pain of seeing your lovely chick after she had passed away. I do understand you being upset, but try to think from the chick's point of view: it is hard, but better that we bury our chickens quickly to give them some dignity.

It's not unusual for people to want to dig up their lost animals after burial. We want to reassure ourselves that she really did die, so it's a natural reaction to grief.

Don't be hard on yourself. You had a little chick whom you loved, and as with any pet which passes out of our lives, that's hard. Give yourself time to grieve, and be kind to yourself.

Your chick knew when you had her that she was loved. Many, many chickens live without ever knowing that level of care.

So, be kind to yourself. Your chick can't forgive you herself, because s/he is not here. But I can. You did everything you could. Sometimes, sadly, death happens.

RIP little yellow chick. You were loved, and you had a lovely tribute written about you by your loving Suja. You were a lucky chick.

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